this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
