I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Alive.
So much puke
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
