Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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