she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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