If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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