Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
