SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
