Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
