so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
