I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
