He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
