Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
