Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
