So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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