If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize