so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
