i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
