dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
