what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
