he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
