It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
