He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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