I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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