She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
