Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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