Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
