I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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