So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
