They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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