hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
