the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
