If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
