In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
