...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
