Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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