Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
this is an emotional support booty call
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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