Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
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As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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