Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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