It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize