Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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