She even gives head with a lisp.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just sucked dick on a ferry
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize