he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
