i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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