You're completely useless in the revolution.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
