whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
