no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
time to smoke my breakfast
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
