After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I didn't notice because vodka
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
