is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
