Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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