I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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