i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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