it was like his penis was on wheels.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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