Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
