you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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