took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
