If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
