If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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