My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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