I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
