I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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