I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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