Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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