Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
