Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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