I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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