Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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