Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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