it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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